The power of a Dream

A simple thing, dreams. A series of images, sounds, and emotions that play across the mind in sleep. Scientifically this occurs during what is called REM Sleep or rapid eye movement sleep. It has been said that the time it takes to describe or relive the dream is about the length of the dream itself or close to. Through the centuries dreams have been used to perform healing, seek guidance, and receive divine inspiration. There have been many attempts to define dreams and what they really mean with no real success.

Are dreams suppressed parts of ourselves? Or are the characters representations of different personal aspects? The inanimate objects? Many ideas with no real answer.

Today's entry is not about finding an answer. It is about finding closure, and yet, I don't know if closure is even possible with this strange dream. It by no means is exceptionally strange or even remotely outlandish, just unfinished and somewhat tragic.

It all began on a sunny day. I was alone on a hike that was ranging the sides of a mountain and skirted around small lakes and large ponds. When I say alone, I mean I didn't have any friends with me. It was a very busy trail with lots of people, just none of them were mine. Sometimes the winding trail was nothing more than lumber fixed to the side of the mountain hanging over a lake. I didn't get to this part of the trail until much later, when I was running from him. Him? who is this Him? Even I'm not really sure. I could describe him to you in great detail.

He was an older man. Somewhere in his 50's. Average height of 5' 6". Silvery white hair brushed into a slight comb-over , not long and not disgusting. In fact it kept his face framed and it lightened the emotions that raced there. Eyes that were a steely gray. A nose slightly larger than normal, but well fitted to his face. He stood very tall and proud. He was dressed very well in clothes that were comfortable, and very obviously expensive. His skin has tanned and weathered from being outside often. Very, very, very I say over and again because this was a man exceptional in appearance and manner. He was rich and knew it. He showed the confidence of his wealth but I could see that something was wrong.

There was something missing from his life and he didn't know what it was. Of course, when I first started talking to him, I didn't know this. We met at the first of the hike when I had accidentally dropped my water bottle. It rolled away from me and he was the one who caught it and handed it back to me. I thanked him and started conversing with him as the hike began. It was a guided hike with a forest ranger at the lead.

I was curious about the man walking beside me. I had never met anyone like him before. It was strange. I can't really explain it, but there was a connection between us right from the very beginning.He was well versed in the world of books so we had a lot to talk about. Eventually we changed topics and ranged from books to food,different cultures, movies, and wild life. Never once did I ask him about his wealth or money. Somehow this intrigued him because at one point he brought it up wondering why I didn't ask.

I simply didn't care. Well, it was more that it was so obvious that I didn't feel that I needed to ask. He had money and I obviously didn't. Did it really matter. He was silent for a time as we continued hiking.

The next piece I remember of this dream.

The group has been stopped at a small clearing by a lake. The man and I have become very good friends. We are enjoying each others company at the back of the group and have gotten to the point where we are joking and teasing each other. He goes silent suddenly...He was looking away towards the lake, but that wasn't what he was seeing. Slowly, he turns back to face me and I wonder if he is all right. He has an expression in his eyes I hadn't seen yet and I didn't know what to expect. He is searching my face and can obviously see my faltering smile. Something is about to happen.

He leans closer to me and starts talking with a quieter voice.
"Do you think that certain events happen because of fate or because of men's own foolishness?" We had just been talking about natural disasters so my mind goes back to that. I look out to the lake and start thinking for my response when he leans in and kisses me. I move to pull myself away, but i just can't do it. A large part of me doesn't want to. Again, i can't really explain it. I knew that I should be upset about this forward advance, but I can't be. That connection we were both feeling was too powerful. Finally I break away from him and have to walk away. I'm trying to collect my thoughts but they are as elusive as catching a cloud. He walks up beside me.

"I would like you to stay with me. Be by my side. You are like no other woman I have ever known, and i don't want to lose you."

I am still so stunned from the kiss that this just about knocked me over. I turn towards him, questioning, and see that he is so sure of my answer that he isn't even looking at me. It looks for all the world as if he doesn't care. In fact, it looks to me that he has asked the question so many times before that hearing the same old answer has become boring to him. Who could deny this obviously wealthy man? Who would even dare? To be favored by him is a gift. I see this all in the way he is standing. It made me angry. I was just another in a long string of gems he wanted to add to his collection. Who better than a pretty little no body met on a hike in the middle of no where.

I say nothing.

My silence finally draws his gaze and he can see that he made a mistake in asking me that. Ice cold I tell him no and turn to walk away. He reaches out and grabs my arm asking me to wait so he can explain. All I hear in my haze of anger is NO. I look down at his hand and remove it. As I move to leave, again he stops me with a hand. This time, I cant shake his grip. He is incredibly strong and I begin to be afraid. While he had been kissing me, the group had moved on so it was only us in the clearing. I look at him. He is becoming sweaty and nervous. I pull away from him and start to run down the clearing. When I look over my shoulder I can see him running behind me. He doesn't want to let me go and I don't want to be caught.

I escape him in the mountains and manage to get away. During the course of the next year, he continues to follow me. I am in a constant state of movement. Eventually the states became too small a place to hide so I travel across the seas and find places to hide around the world. Somehow though, he manages to find me wherever I go. There are many times where we meet face to face and he tries to explain himself. At first I refused to hear. I would not become another useless pretty thing.

Slowly the words he manages to say when we meet start reaching me. Eventually I discover that he really doesn't have any one in his life. No wife and no children. He is alone in the world. His only friends the vultures seeking his money and favor. I begin to realize that the actions that day by the lake were the actions of a man so long alone that he no longer knew how to respond to real people.

I know these things sound strange, but in this dream, these were the answers plain and simple.

The chase across the world led to many strange and wonderful places. Eventually it all came to a close in a most remarkable place. It was an incredibly extravagant hotel with a singular attraction. It could serve any kind of drink imaginable to man if it were an American Cherry Coke or Yak milk. If you could think of it they had it, alcoholic or not. A strange place to end this adventure, but we were both becoming tired. We were at a standstill. Neither of us willing to change but neither of us willing to leave either.

We were becoming desperate, locked by internal struggle. Thankfully and saddly the answer was given to us and we only had to respond. All during my adventures around the world, I was being followed by two men. The second one being my father. I didn't even know he was searching for me. It makes sense, but it was a complete surprise when I walked out of a room to see both my dad and the man standing there. My dad didn't know that the man he was standing next to was the one who had chased me around the world. I didn't tell him. I ran to my dad and put my arms around him giving him a huge hug. He asked me if I was ready to go home, and I said yes.

I turned my gaze to the man only to see him walking away, once proud shoulders now curved forward in defeat. I almost ran to him then, but something held me back. Instead I turned with my dad to collect my things and finally return home. As we were leaving the building and driving away I turned to look back and saw the man standing on the curb with a folded piece of paper in his hand. He waved it a little almost looking like he was going to run after the car, but something stopped him. The last thing I saw was of him standing on the curb ignorant of the world around. It looked like he was trying to hold back tears and then we turned a corner, and I never saw him again.

I couldn't shake the feeling that the man still needed help even if he didn't know how to ask for it. He needed a friend. Someone in the world he could trust, who was sincere. He was alone and lost. I feel like I had been able to show him something of a sunny world, and then ripped it away from him by leaving. I know this sounds so strange, but the "chase" around the world was so much fun. It was a game we played. I would occasionally open the door of the room I was staying in, and I would find a ticket to some show, or a flyer of a tourist site. Occasionally, there would be hand drawn maps to an ancient ruin or a little known pizzeria. I would find places on my own as well, and somehow leave signs for him to find the stunning waterfall hidden only a few steps from the road. Then, the game ended and we were thrust back into a world both of us had been trying to escape from.

That was why we both were on that hike at the beginning. We were looking for something bigger than ourselves. Something away from the world. A piece of Heaven.

As my dream was coming to a close, I tried to stay asleep so I could write the man a letter. I needed to tell him that he really wasn't alone in the world. That he had a friend in me and in the very world around him. He didn't need to think of this world as a place to suffer through anymore. He could be happy. But I never did finish the letter, and I never did tell the man these things.

Somewhere wandering in my realm of dreams, there is an older man there, looking for answers, and maybe he found them without me telling him. I will never know. What are dreams anyway? Images, sound, and emotions that play across the sleeping mind. Not reality. So why do I feel so sad about a man created by my mind? I think he found happiness after the end. I hope he found happiness.